weight…

I am considering today how many of us carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. I know I do because after a long day I see myself in the mirror, my posture assures me that this is the case.  Even the idea of lifting up my heart, opening it up to go back into right relationship with my maker is overwhelming. I cannot even fathom how to unburden while standing upright.

I confess that in these moments so often the only answer to prayer I can imagine is the one I feel in my body. The answer my body gives is to fall to the floor, sometimes on my face even. Feeling the cold floor on my palms and connecting my body with the lowest place I can find lends some kind of equilibrium every single time. I count the places I connect; forehead, palms, chest, hips, knees, feet….it becomes prayer….forehead, palms, chest, hips, knees, feet…

I release each piece to God while laying prone…forehead, palms, chest, hips, knees, feet….

Each of these parts has it’s own weight, it’s own fight against gravity.

As my forehead connects I lay down the long train of thoughts, the laundry list of details, the lineup of lies…

As my palms connect I lay down the clenched fist and the closed hand….

As my chest connects I lay down the heavy heart, the hard to breathe, the hidden sin…

As my hips connect I lay down the out of alignment, fight or flight…

As my knees connect I lay down the longheld doubt, the stinging pain, the unconsidered comfort of kneeling..

As my feet connect I lay down the martyr stance, the terrible temper, the unrooted run…

Because of the reality of our God, the reality that we are more than the sum of our “parts” and the reality that we are Beloved to Him we can lay all of these things down. We can know that God is able to handle the chaos of our lives, our minds, our hearts.

I have no illusion when I stand back up that I will never again pick up these things. I imagine them laying on the floor, each one both attracting and repelling, singing soft songs and I cannot help but hum along.  I am only certain that for a little while, for a short time, I laid them all down and at the very least, I know it is possible…

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One Response

  1. Angela – this post really blessed me! I shared with a few friends. What a fantastic blog. Thank you!!!

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